After nearly 9 years together, the last 2 & 1/2 of that living in sin and sharing a mortgage, Emma and I finally got married in April 2010.
As with everything else in our relationship, we took things casually and did it our way; the dress was from Etsy, I wore jeans, we had a casual barbecue for lunch, no one wrote a proper speech, I tightly controlled the music, Emma made (and I iced) 5 dozen cupcakes because neither of us like wedding cake, Matt & Jim fell over drunk, and we tried to find a way to get Cosmo to be a ring bearer. It was perfect.
Bar rings and clothes, we did the whole thing for a smidgeon over a thousand pounds; the last thing we wanted was for it to be a competitive or stressful wedding. Our philosophy was: If you plan everything, you spend the day wondering if things are going to plan, rather than enjoying yourself. So we planned barely anything. (We only checked what happened at the service on the Monday before!)
Apologies to friends and relatives both near and far who we didn’t invite; it’s not that we don’t love you or didn’t want you there, it’s that, frankly, we couldn’t afford to invite any more people and trying for anything bigger would have made it into a day that we didn’t really want. We would both have felt dreadful dragging people to our little corner of the South West and then spending barely any time with you because we were stretched too thin. Also, I’d have killed someone if I’d had to ice any more bloody cupcakes. We promise we’ll see you as soon as we can though; now we’re married we’re resolving to be more sociable!
The service was 150 yards from our front door, the barbecue and party about 600 yards. We both laughed through the service because it’s better than crying. We sat in a pub garden all afternoon in the sunshine drinking wine with our closest friends and siblings. I did the Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It) dance. Emma looked absolutely beautiful. We both grinned all day. All the cupcakes got eaten and we walked home at half past midnight in the first pattering of (very, very) light rain to fall in Exeter after 17 days of unbroken sunshine. It was perfect.
The volcanic ash now appears to have cleared and we look as though we’ll be able to fly to New York on Thursday as planned (the only thing we did plan). Between now and then we’re relaxing and trying to figure out how being married is any different to just being in love. (It isn’t.) (Except we both wear rings.)
We have been absolutely taken aback by the generosity and kindness of everyone who had anything to do with our wedding; from the staff at the City Gate and Larkbeare House, to our parents and families, and everyone who spent time with us or wished us well. We didn’t ask for gifts because after 9 years it seemed cheeky, but we’ve been gobsmacked. People go loopy for weddings. It’s beautiful. We just thought we were signing a bit of paper and going down the pub.
So thank you, everyone who was involved, in any way at all. Our wedding day was amazing, and you helped make it that way. We’re thinking of getting an annulment so we can do it all again. (Joke!)
Particular thanks to Jack, who worked through the day with a cold to help us capture these amazing photographs, despite being an animator not a photographer. Maybe we should set up business doing this “professionally”. I’ll do the shouting. And I’m sorry about Jim. He likes a party.
Oh, yeah, one last thing. The playlist; it was cool as.
Feel Good Inc. Gorillaz Demon Days
A-Punk Vampire Weekend Vampire Weekend
Faith Michael, George Ladies & Gentlemen: The Best Of George Michael
Since I Left You The Avalanches Since I Left You
You And Me Song The Wannadies You And Me Song
Don’t You Worry ‘Bout A Thing Wonder, Stevie Innervisions
Brimful Of Asha Cornershop When I Was Born For The 7th Time
Frontin’ Williams, Pharrell The Neptunes Present… Clones
Hey Ya! Outkast The Love Below
Eye Know De La Soul 3 Feet High And Rising
Mr. Brightside The Killers Hot Fuss
Once In A Lifetime Talking Heads Remain In Light
Where’s Your Head At Basement Jaxx The Singles
I Get Around The Beach Boys The Very Best Of The Beach Boys
Your Woman White Town Women in Technology
Move On Up Mayfield, Curtis Move On Up
Repeater Fugazi Repeater + 3 Songs
Where It’s At Beck Odelay
I’m A Believer The Monkees I’m A Believer
The Magic Position Wolf, Patrick The Magic Position
I Turn My Camera On Spoon Gimme Fiction
Ever Fallen In Love (With Someone You Shouldn’t've)? The Buzzcocks Singles Going Steady
Freak Scene Dinosaur Jr. Freak Scene
I Want You Back The Jackson 5 The Ultimate Collection
The Reflex Duran Duran Seven and the Ragged Tiger
Connection Elastica Elastica
Ghost Town The Specials Ghost Town
Big Time Sensuality Björk Debut
Monkey Wrench Foo Fighters The Colour And The Shape
Teenage Kicks The Undertones Teenage Kicks
Common People Pulp Different Class
Girls & Boys Blur Parklife
Maneater Furtado, Nelly Loose
Lisztomania Phoenix Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix
Toxic Spears, BritneyI n The Zone
Life’s What You Make It Talk Talk The Colour Of Spring
Cannonball The Breeders Last Splash
Love MachineGirls Aloud What Will The Neighbours Say?
Love Shack The B-52′s Love Shack
Can I Kick It? A Tribe Called Quest People’s Instinctive Travels And Paths Of Rhythm
Reverend Black Grape Black Grape It’s Great When You’re Straight…Yeah
Hey Bulldog The Beatles Yellow Submarine
Uptown Top Rankin’ Althea & Donna 300% Dynamite
Made Up Lovesong #43 Guillemots I Saw Such Things In My Sleep
I Want To Take You Higher Sly & The Family Stone Stand!
Groove Is In The Heart Deee-Lite World Clique
Voodoo Ray (12″ Version) A Guy Called Gerald Voodoo Ray – EP
Been Caught Stealing Jane’s Addiction Ritual De Lo Habitual
Debaser Pixies Doolittle
Big Pimpin’ Jay-Z Vol.3 … Life And Times Of S. Carter
Freak Like Me Sugababes Angels With Dirty Faces
Single Ladies (Put a Ring On It) Beyoncé I Am…Sasha Fierce (Deluxe Version)
Crosstown Traffic Hendrix, Jimi Electric Ladyland
Like I Love You Timberlake, Justin Justified
Got Your Money Ol’ Dirty Bastard Nigga Please
Milkshake Kelis Tasty
So What’cha Want Beastie Boys Check Your Head
Mama Said Knock You Out LL Cool J Mama Said Knock You Out
Pump Up The Volume M/A/R/R/S Pump Up The Volume
Don’t Stop ‘Til You Get Enough Jackson, Michael Off The Wall
Baby Can’t Stop Lindstrøm & Christabelle Real Life Is No Cool (disc 1)
Get Ur Freak On Elliott, Missy Respect M.E.
Hand In Your Head Money Mark Push The Button
Young Hearts Spark Fire Japandroids Post-Nothing
Smells Like Teen Spirit Nirvana Nevermind
Block Rockin’ Beats The Chemical Brothers Dig Your Own Hole
Loaded (Edited Version) Primal Scream Dirty Hits
House Of Jealous Lovers The Rapture Echoes
Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger Daft Punk Discovery
Last Night The Strokes Is This It?
Get It On T.Rex Electric Warrior
Sweet Disposition The Temper Trap Sweet Disposition – EP
That’s Not My Name The Ting Tings We Started Nothing
North American Scum LCD Soundsystem Sound Of Silver
Over & Over Hot Chip The Warning
Firestarter The Prodigy Firestarter
Switch it on Will Young Keep On
Born Slippy (Edit) Underworld Born Slippy
Fools Gold The Stone Roses Fools Gold
Ringer Four Tet Ringer
Sequenced The Field Yesterday And Today